That day, I woke up went to the bathroom and looked at my mirror to see my own reflection.
Rubbing my eyes and languidly searching for the toothbrush I was startled to hear my own voice. “Hi Himani”, the voice echoed in my ears. I anxiously got up from my half sleep mode and looked all around but found no one. I pinched myself twice just to cross check it was not a dream and then I heard it again. “It’s me in the mirror”, the voice said.
I bent over the basin to have a closer look. Am I out of my senses?? Am I drunk?? Or is it a hallucination? Whatever it may be, that voice of mine was talking to me and was asking me to reply. I was annoyed and perplexed all the time thinking how the hell can I talk to myself?
But I was actually doing so, willingly or unwillingly.
“Hey dear, don’t worry I am you. I am here just to talk, on this cherish able moment when you are just you.” my reflection said. Wondering, whether its sarcasm or sympathy I gave a frowning look.
“Oh”, she said, “Sometimes I really wonder what I had made of myself. Oops, I mean you.”
I enquired what she was trying to say. Completely annoyed I said,” Listen I don’t have time. Please cut this short and come to the point, is it a kind of Joke?”
The image rather my image immediately retorted with a quick laugh, “Joke, ha Joke is what you said just now dear. You don’t have time for yourself. Great! Then for whom are you living? Ok, let me guess, for this world. It is nice to be social but to the extent that you can’t even spare few minutes for your own self or think what your own heart says.”
“I mean look at yourself and reflect what you were when you were, say, about five years old.” The voice continued. “You were then the most beautiful and you think you look pretty now. You were innocent then and you think you are now modest. You were a free bird then and you think now you are independent. Your every single second is passing just in the thought what others will say, think and talk about. In fact, every morning as you see yourself you perceive your image as to what world will see? What it will think? What it will say about you?”
I protested," So what is wrong in it. Looks matter. Not only looks in today’s world people behave in the way others want to see them. It’s not such a big deal."
She smiled back at me and replied," Perhaps, you are right. But these all can be done just by being yourself. What I am trying to make you understand is just follow your instincts.”
I again said, “And I am doing it. Listen, it is not making any sense to me. So buzz off and I threw some water on the mirror.”
But to my utter surprise it was there again,” Thank you, I guess now you can see me even more clear. Probably, you will understand what I am trying to justify.”
“See, those fine lines on your forehead and those streaks of gray hairs. Seems, something is bothering you. I know what it is. And I just want to help you out. Understand, if you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.”
“Just be yourself and life will become beautiful again. Don’t let problems affect you, they are just like night and as it become more intense, always keep in mind a bright new sunshine is quite near. Enjoy every moment to the fullest. Every morning you see yourself in this mirror. You look amazing but the world is not seeing you from this mirror. It is seeing you from a very different mirror- The mirror of ‘Attitude’. It is mirror of mind. It reflects thinking.”
It further added, “Life is what you make for yourself and not what other make for you. You should not change at any cost even in the bleakest and rarest circumstance. No compromise until your heart says you are doing it wrong.”
I was lost. I was thinking that yes I do need time for myself. I need to live life my own way. Happiness is not a brilliant climax to years of grim, struggle and anxiety. It is a long succession of little decisions simply to be happy in the moment.
And I came back from my thoughts only when my roommate knocked at the door.
I searched for my concise but no one was there. I smiled and looked back at my reflection to see a new me. My thinking has changed and I have actually got answers to most of my doubts, tensions and problems.
It’s true, often we defy our own self running a rat race in this world. Somehow, we totally forget that we are not born to be a winner and were not born to be a looser. We are what we make ourselves be.
Always remember- “Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it. So just believe in you.”